Explaining Why Therapy Works to Your Kids
Kids are smart and their objections to therapy make lots of sense. They might ask the question, “How can talking to some random person help my situation?” Or they might point out, “I don’t need therapy, I need more friends, less anxiety, better grades, etc.” These are valid points! But your child is also smart enough to understand how therapy could be helpful, if only you know the right things to say.
First, it is important to note that talk therapy can be helpful for virtually anyone. Why is that? A therapist is bound by strict confidentiality requirements which means that anything the client tells them must be kept confidential except in the case where someone is in imminent danger. In Colorado, a child has the right to this confidentiality starting at age twelve. This means that if the child wants the therapist to keep something a secret, the therapist is required to keep it confidential, even from parents. For many young people, this is the first place where their words are treated so respectfully.
Secondly, while a therapist is an expert on mental health, they acknowledge that only the client can be an expert on themselves. This means that therapists trust the client’s lead when it comes to the direction and content of therapy. The client always gets to say what is and isn’t up for discussion. Children and adolescents may find this is the most control they have ever had in a relationship.
These two factors create a space where the client can feel free to process their thoughts, voice their hurts, and receive compassion without all the risks that come with the same type of vulnerability in other environments. They don’t have to worry about what a friend, parent or teacher might think, they just get to share or vent.
As they talk, the therapist’s role is to help them understand more clearly what is going on, why it is happening, and establish what they can actually do about it. A good therapist helps the client collaboratively problem solve and work towards living a life that the client can feel proud of.